I'm beginning to hope this is an "hasta luego" kind of goodbye

I have, to date, not become so emotionally attached to a place and people as I have here Patong, Thailand. Tonight is our last night of outreach and then tomorrow night we fly back to Bangkok. I just... don't know.

S.H.E.

Congratulations, Aunt Patty!

After all of the hurt and harm inflicted on this gracious and lovely woman, she has found her Hankey. No, really, that's his name. I'm so happy for you guys!!! May your conflict be small and your love full of joy - I pray God's favor on your new marriage!

I can tell the family had fun!!!

Where's the designated driver, here?

Friday night at the Joy Bar-(that's it's name). Halfway along the strip, the brazen girls yell at the passers by and join the frivolities...drinks, games, bright lights... so much fun!

A thick girl with pouty lips grasps our hands and hugs and kisses us for coming back to see her. I pull her aside and she cries in my shoulder.

A slight girl with a black and white dress finishes off the bottle of whiskey. We laugh raucously as a replacement bottle is brought. She dances at the pole and knocks another shot back. Then she collapses in my arms and says, "I have to drink so much because I am so sad on the inside but I have to be happy on the outside." I pass her a tissue and she goes and sits on his lap.

The one with the angular facial features pulls out a game and tells me about her son, pausing only to make eye contact with the old Aussie man at the other bar. The short, fat one comes by and kisses her breast. Oh, this is such a fun, sexy place... no rules... just fun!

But then the slight girl is back to throw up in the sink. She pulls my head close: "why doesn't he want to sleep with me?" Her out of place tears keep falling.

He has been a woman since s/he was little... I can barely have a good conversation because she keeps catching her reflection in the mirror. We laugh as she compares our chest sizes. She thinks I'm fat and that's funny too. It's all funny. Then she whips around, grabs my face in her two large hands and asks earnestly, "am I pretty?"



She's too sick to go on. I chase her unsteady,weaving steps down the road. "Will you be okay? Let me get you a motorbike. No, don't drive. Be safe. You are beautiful. You are special."



So, are we having fun yet?

Come on.

Girls

I'm working in Patong, Phuket (Thailand) - a southern vacation destination. There're tons of tourists and foreigners lolling around, beautiful beaches, and bright & colorful strips of bars.
S.H.E. (Self Help Empowerment) is a micro-enterprise organization started by Mark and Sharon Biddell from England. They work primarily with bar girls or prostitutes by providing them with friendship, mentoring, Biblical education, and a job (jewelry-making).
I just like the girls. The ministry is my element and I actually feel useful and excited... it's such fun meeting new girls and guys in the industry and thinking of God's lovely heart for broken people.
The indomitable nature of the feminine spirit is truly awe-inspiring. God did a wonderful thing when he created the amazing paradox of woman - no wonder Adam was so smitten. I wonder if there's anything a woman can't heal from... or hurt from. But God is such an ever-present help to women. And our instinctive humility and gentleness WILL out in the end to turn our hearts to the cross.
We work with 4 girls who have left the bars for good and now work full-time at S.H.E. - Glong, Gae, Gung and Wan. They are so much fun - it's a joy.
More pics to come (this place really isn't "suffering for Jesus" unless you count the oppressive heat & humidity - it's so gorgeous here).
Love you all.

I Chose This

I know I talk about her a rather lot... but here she is... kayaking... without me.
I chose this.
I talked to them on the phone... they're so happy and having such fun... mixed with the angst-ridden drama that is so rife in my family...
But I did choose this.
Then I read Leah's e-mails... and wrote her back... pages and pages... everyday this week, I think... I'm missing so much. Lizzy grows.
But this is what I decided to do.
I feel a little foolish and little displaced... more than a little confused and quite frustrated....
Because I chose this.
And I daily wonder what "this" is...
This... journey... discovery... challenge... "race"... mission...
All somewhat empty words.
And then somehow I find peace in knowing this:
I may not be completely happy here but I did choose this for one overarching reason: for God.
I feel like I've made a lot of decisions in my life "for God" that just didn't pan out somehow - that were dissatisfying or disastrous... but if motives count for anything, God knows mine are good.
So my time won't just be salvaged, it will be satisfying... right?
Because I chose God above family and friends...
And as much as I love them, he must always be first.

Bangkok pics

"You worship the sun/Now can you fall for the rain?"

("London Skies" by Jamie Cullem)