Honeymoon

Don't worry. No dirty pictures. ;)

Just us in our new place.

I'm married. Whoa. I definitely have those moments... but it all fits together... I love life with my hubby (who steals covers, by the way, and sometimes snores.)

First picture installment of the wedding

(Chris clarified my title... it's not pictures of my first wedding but the first pictures of my only wedding...)

I wanted to name this post, "let the great experiment begin!!!" Only Jimmy will get that, though. Annnndddd I'm so very happy.

As soon as Tim gets them to us (ahem ahem) there're lots more.... with better lighting and all of the jazzy stuff. ;)

Bachelorette party!!!

Thanks for Jennifer and Mary! Although I have to admit a night without Chris wasn't as fun as maybe it could've been... I missed him. I don't know if that makes me lame or just married-ish. ;)

Birthday 23

It's been a while since I've blogged. I'm not particularly uninspired, just somehow not as loquacious as usual. My lack thereof has provoked some thought, but not much. For the most part, I excuse my incommunicato with my busyness - teaching school and planning marriage stuff... although I perhaps it's just one of those characteristic "gaps" that I often experience. Sometimes I think that it's necessary to just pull back from sharing and be, intelectually and spiritually, alone. And it has been a good and necessary hiatus. I don't know if this is intrinsically selfish, but I experience it nonetheless.

It's nice being engaged. Planning life together isn't our favorite (neither of us "enjoy" logistics or job-hunting) but the prospect of it coming together is exhilerating. It's amazing how much peace I have with this, considering my former reticence to any kind of committment. I am so completely sure of Chris... of his character, of our "rightness" together. I really am thrilled to spend the rest of my life with him! And the surety I have now of always having someone by whom to define my life is... nice.

My lovely, strong mother got pneumonia. I was so shocked! She was getting progressively weaker and more genuinely pitiful.. eventually I scheduled her a doctor appointment and the verdict was: pneumonia in her lungs. Upon hearing this news, I immediately grabbed the camera and shot this picture, in case she died... I wantef to remember what she looked like in those final moments. I mean, seriously, pneumonia. Yikes.
(I am - hopefully obviously - being very tongue-in-cheek... she is recovering nicely.)
















It was a wonderful Birthday! The night before, Friday night, we had a family celebration (most of these pictures are from that). The next day, Chris took me to the Sarasota Film Festival and we watched movies & ate junk food literally *all day*! We saw some wonderful short films, a Norwegian romantic comedy, a documentary on Harry Potter, and a new movie called Phoebe in Wonderland (absolutely fantastic). Today we woke up and got to work - but I have to say that I am so refreshed and happy after my wonderful day.

Engaged!

Crazy monkeys. Who would have ever thought??? A lot of people are "shocked." That's somewhat entertaining. I obviously don't mind shocking people.

I always wondered if I would ever fall in love like this - in a way that made 12 hours of time together insufficient... in a way that makes me constantly aware of where he is and what he's doing... in a way that allows for the conflicts & disagreements to cause me to love him more when I wake up the next morning. I think this is of God. I know it is. I have no doubts, really.

It is surreal and euphoric. It is real and not easy. It is completely wonderful and exciting and very very good. :)

I'm getting married to Chris Youell.

Kayaking

Lemon Bay, FL with my honey.

Less than recognizably artistic...

These days I'm less confused about the definitions and explanations of what art (or the spiritually artistic component of my person) is and more disturbed by my lack of participation in anything that (historically) vaguely resembles inspiration. Chris has echoed this in his own life. I don't feel acutely uninspired. That I could probably endure because it would be a kind of "anti-art" sentiment... which is at least hateful rather than apathetic. I am not sure that I can endure the intellectual and artistic lethargy that seem to have beset me. Why? Why am I here, like this? It's unbearable, one, to be in yet another "phase of transition" in which nothing is set for very long and certainly nothing is certain long-term. Second, my job (teaching 3rd grade) is legitimately so emotionally exhausting that I feel useless for any new developments; my whole day revolves around any new idea, any shocking display that I can use to jolt my kids into moments of decent behavior. Does that sound extreme? It's how I feel.

I don't mean to be dismal. I don't feel throbbing pulses of rain or streaming rays of sunshine... just a constant drizzle and a spark of expectation... because that is next will surely be good... but "now" is lasting longer than I anticipated... and I haven't added enough recognizably artistic or stimulating components into this life.

And this life is, for now, what is.

The life

The life I'm leaving or the life I'm keeping?

It can't be all that bad.

To heal

"Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure”

Henri Nouwen

Happy Thanksgiving 2007

Grateful. (that I don't have to use 1,000 words...)

(a year later)

The McCarty Clan

My sister and bros

The sibs "Take 2 Deja Vu"

Handsome McCarty Boys

Forced love - my schmakinwacker

My schnu

My mother
The post-turkey daze...

I'm so grateful.