We celebrated Christmas. I guess everybody did. It's kind of the thing to do this time of year.
I am very grateful for a lot of the things I receieved... some genuine generosity was poured out upon me.
One thing that has sparked a ton of family conversation is the strange dynamics of familial relationships. For tact's sake, I'll stick to inner-family dynamics. For instance, when Jimmy comes home from Minnesota, everybody feels the subtle but real shift to former roles. It's the "shoulds" of what we all once were and the regression to the positions we all hold within our family system. Though my reference to this dynamic may sound instantly negative, it is not intended to. Surely you feel it: either you're the firstborn who has always taken care of everything, the second born who had to be strong and driven, the third born who was the life of the party, the baby of the family who was mollycoddled and underestimated... you get my point. It may not be who you are now and you resent the instant classification or dismissal. It may be your grounding point for remembering from where you've come. It may be the image against which you measure your accomplishments. It can probably be interpreted many useful ways.
This isn't bad because it makes the family work... but part of me wonders to what degree the evolution of individuals within the family system is allowed is the degree at which that family maintains intimacy throughout the years.
Christmas 2005
1 comment:
Relationships are dynamic not static. So I agree that we should allow each other to evolve in their personhood. It's like not locking a sibling or child into the "You're 16!, wow, I forgot you always seem 10 to me" syndrome. It takes conscious effort to stay in tune with each other and not just get in automatic mode. There I posted and did not even revise and muse over it...are you happy. I sure do hope it makes a little sense...maybe I need to make this a draft and think about it some more...or maybe not.
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