Been thinkin

First off, before I say anything pontifical (?): if you are one of the people whose a. wedding I missed, b. phone call(s) I haven't returned, or c. coffee date I stood up - I have none of my usual (clever & brilliant) excuses just know that I'm so so so so so so so so sorry! You know how I get. Know that it's on a to-do list somewhere to spend massive amounts of time making up to you... and despite all appearances, know that I love love love you all!

Better?

Now I've been thinking... sometimes you have to just sit down and ponder. It helps that there've been rainy days and slow nights. I journaled extensively about all of this. Here's what I remember (big theme) - I know my calling.
"Calling" is one of those catch-phrases that tends to not pack a punch in reality... but there is something very real about the fact that God specifically intends in his moral will for each of us to do something specific with our lives. (I know at least CW is already forming his response to that vague statement - call me, dear, we need to talk anyway). And I know mine.

Africa.

Africa is my heart. I was re-reading some journal entries from right when I got back from Africa last year and I said: "my heart has been left in Africa on purpose." Because it was home. Because it was the most real I've ever felt and the most sure. I'm more sure of Africa than almost anything in life. I'm going. I'm staying. And, make a difference or not, I will live my life for love of the forgotten, diseased, and abandoned people of Africa.
I know it's not all that noble or great because I've been there with the smells and annoyances and sadness... but I also know that nothing else in life will satisfy me. Because that's my calling.

I can't wait!