Wonder

I wonder about a lot of things. I wonder at the intricacies of human relationships and communication; I wonder at the magnificence of creation in places like the Alps; I wonder at the small significance of expressions of love; I wonder at a masterfully written novel or piece of literature; I wonder at people's capacities to hate and destroy each other; I wonder at naivete, bias, prejudice; I wonder at simple-mindedness and wilfull ignorance... in some senses when I say "wonder" I probably mean "marvel." Because I wonder and marvel at these things, does that make them wonderful and marvelous?

I think our categories merit reconsideration.

Today is a drudging but productive day. I miss Leah. I miss Africa. I miss heavier things, too, like being young enough and untraveled enough to be wildly ambitious... I miss thinking life was simple and answers were available. Sometimes my soul feels very old.

And then I hold Nicholas or Mitchell... and they are so small, just babies; and I can make them smile and laugh... I can make them feel safe and special... and in my eyes they are the most wonderful thing of all. And I may drudge on but hope satisfies me once again.

Song of the moment:
“Come all ye lost/Dive into moss and hope that/my sanity covers the cost/To remove the stain of my love/In paper mache/Come all ye reborn/Blow off my horn/I’m driving really hard/This is love, this is poor/God will forgive me but I whip myself: scorn scorn!/I want to hear what you have to say about me/Hear if you’re gonna live without me/Hear what you want/I remember December” “I Remember” by Damien Rice