My love

Today I feel sad.
At the beginning of the day, I had a wonderful idea and a fabulous adventure in store to visit Leah tomorrow. As the day went on, though, this plan unraveled, leaving me tragically disappointed. Worse, I feel I disappointed Leah. It's an awful feeling, this.
I do this too much to people, maybe specifically her: I say something, with great conviction and gusto, but am unable to follow through. I verbally promise things that I truly intend to accomplish but find myself unable to complete. And the fault is mine.
Perhaps the onus is on me because of my unbridled enthusiasm... I don't think things through. I don't even pretend to not think them through: I just genuinely don't.
This is the same problem I have with men. I always assume, 'of course we're just friends; of course he thinks so, too!' and continue to love and display affection heedlessly... until the truth comes crashing down, we have the infamous 'talk' and I discover that I was, in actuality, leading him on.
My heart is in the right place, that is my intentions are never to hurt... but that is not good enough.
As an adult I need to realize that I can't act however I please to whomever I please, but that the real adult on the other end of the relationship has very important and very worthy feelings.
Other people's feelings are worthy of respect. And I've got to stop being a tease in more ways than one.

Leah. My heart is so disappointed in myself. You have no idea how much I love you, sister. You are my very own favorite woman (even though you are dangerously unbalanced). I miss you. I mean it. Please believe me. Please forgive me.